Why Our Brains Won’t Shut Up at 3 a.m.

If you’ve ever stared at the ceiling at 3 a.m., replaying every unread email, awkward conversation, or looming deadline—you’re in good company. Our brains are experts at turning the middle of the night into a highlight reel of doom.

But here’s the thing: evolution stacked the deck this way.

From Sabertooth Tigers to Slack Notifications

For 290,000 of the 300,000 years humans have been around, survival meant scanning the bushes for predators, not scrolling through inboxes. Fear kept us alive: Don’t eat the weird berries. Don’t anger the chief. Don’t pet the giant cat with the fangs.

Our nervous systems never got the memo that the threats have changed. Today, instead of a tiger, it’s a late-night Teams ping. Instead of exile from the hunting group, it’s social media comments. But the same adrenaline surges, heart races, vision narrows—like our boss’s email could actually eat us.

The Thinking-Feeling Loop

Neuroscientist Joe Dispenza calls it the thinking-feeling loop:

We think a stressful thought (I’m behind. I’ll fail. It’s all falling apart.).
That thought triggers a chemical cocktail of fear in our bodies.
Our body, now feeling fear, signals our brain to create more fearful thoughts.

Round and round it goes, until worry itself becomes a habit. Fear feels familiar, even when it’s not helpful.

What I’ve Been Trying Instead

The other night, I caught myself mid-spiral, and I decided to try something new: reframing anxiety as excitement.

The physical sensations are the same—racing heart, buzzing energy, shallow breath. But if I tell myself this is excitement, not fear, suddenly I’m not bracing for disaster. I’m prepping for possibility.

That shift doesn’t erase the 3 a.m. thoughts, but it keeps me from riding them straight into a panic attack.

The Good News: Brains Are Rewireable

Here’s the hopeful part: we don’t have to live in the loop. Our brains can rewire. Each time we notice the pattern, pause, and choose a new thought, we’re carving a new path.

Fear may have been our survival tool, but it doesn’t have to run the show anymore. We get to decide: do we feed fear, or do we feed something better—hope, joy, courage, excitement?

Because the truth is, unread emails are not sabertooth tigers. And your 3 a.m. thoughts aren’t prophecies—they’re just habits.

And habits, thank God, can change.